The End of an Era (I'm Movin' On).

As I sit here contemplating all that's left to do in the 36 hours between now and moving day, it occurs to me that a house is so very much more than brick and mortar. Or wood and nails, as the case may be. I feel compelled to ruminate on that just a bit, if you're up for a little emotional rambling. :)

I clearly remember the first time I laid eyes on this house. March 1, 2007. I was married nearly a year, pregnant, and super excited to find the place that my family could grow in - and call home. We had looked at dozens of houses online and in person, but none of them spoke to me the way this one did. I saw it as we drove down the street (in a blizzard, mind you), and it took my breath away. I knew - I KNEW - that this was where we would land. This was home. I had to have it. And six weeks later we moved in.

I had big plans for this house. As far as I was concerned, we were going to stay here a long time. Maybe not forever, but long enough to raise our family. We started down that path. Our son was born, and then our daughter. Our neighbors were our friends. We were well on our way to being the quintessential happy suburban family I'd always wanted.

But - it turns out that not everything happens as planned. Sometimes not even close. I aimed for Pleasantville and got the Bates Motel, or something. Instead of the Cleavers, this house saw the end of a marriage, the destruction of a family, and probably more pain and tears than joy and laughter.

You'd think I'd be glad to leave this house behind, and in most ways I am. I recognize that finally leaving this house means a well-deserved fresh start for me. But I'm a sentimental person, and I often think about the optimism and bright eyes I had when I moved into this house. Remembering that makes me sad for all the dreams I had that didn't really come to be.

The good news is, this move is the final chapter in a long, tawdry tale. I really do get to start fresh, on my own again, and rebuild a life that is all mine. And that, my friends, has been a long time coming. So I guess I shouldn't spend too much time feeling sorry for myself. This is my opportunity to move on - me and my kids. It will be good. :)

And on Thursday, I will bid adieu to Elk River, and to this house. I can't believe that day is already here.