I have had more than my fair share of misfortune in the last 12 months. A shitty husband (with apologies, respect, and love to any of his family members that may be reading this), separation, reduced time with my kids, two failed short sales and resulting impending foreclosure, IRS troubles, divorce, bankruptcy...I've been through the wringer, to put it mildly. Truth be told, I've spent much of the last year feeling like a victim, like I just didn't have all that much to feel good about...including (and especially) myself. It has most definitely been a very tough year.
A little more than a week ago, I had an epiphany. There is something I can do, over which I have complete control, that would help me to finally feel better about myself. And that something is losing weight. This is my opportunity to stop feeling sorry for myself, and instead start feeling proud of myself. Confident. Comfortable in my own skin. Whoa - there's a concept.
Trouble is, losing weight is damn hard. And it's a damn lot of work. It's easy to talk yourself out of doing that work in favor of taking the easy way and pretending to not care what you look like. But I've discovered that it's impossible to not care. You do, even if you think you don't. I decided I'm tired of wearing oversized t-shirts to hide my body. I want to feel comfortable in whatever I'm wearing, whether it be a dress or a bathing suit.
One thing I've learned about myself, and I suspect this might be true of Americans in general, is that my brain and my body are wired completely differently. My body craves the good stuff like veggies and lean proteins. That's what my body wants and needs to function. My brain, however, doesn't see it that way. My brain wants instant gratification in the form of processed sugars, fats, starches and salts. That shit tastes so much better than the good stuff. So my brain has been forcing my poor body to take in this nutritionless but totally tasty crap and somehow make it work. This results in the "3:00 crash," too much caffeine, sleepless nights, and the inability to keep up with the kids.
So after my epiphany, I decided to start making some changes, pronto. To start controlling what goes into my body and see what results I get. I've done this several times before, so I know how it works - but this time I have the best of all reasons: to start taking care of myself and renew my pride in myself. First off the menu: Mountain Dew, crackers and chips, cheese, and bread. Back on the menu: veggies, fruit, and water. Oh - and working out regularly has become a must. MyPlate on LiveStrong.com has been an indispensable tool for tracking what I eat and the progress I'm making.
And, well, the results after the first week are stunning. Six pounds lost in a single week. I'm starting to see white stretch marks (the GOOD stretch marks) in areas that have already substantially shrunk. I can already wear pants that just two weeks ago I couldn't even button. I proudly wore a tank top in public yesterday. I haven't experienced a 3:00 crash yet. I've been sleeping better. All great things, and all excellent motivators. Signs that all the work and willpower is paying off.
I'm not deluding myself - I know that one successful week doesn't make for an easy journey. But I'll tell you what - it just has to be easier than what I've been through in the last 12 months - and will yield much more positive results. I mean, there is nothing better than renewed self-confidence...that's what will give me the power to rise above the negativity. I cannot wait.
Check this shit out...
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